Torvill & Dean Eat Your Heart Out!

Arriving back from a balmy Australian summer to the depths of the Canadian winter was never going to be easy. Thankfully the weather has been mild for this time of year. Yes, mild. An Australian girl who used to say it was ‘too cold to swim’ when it was 38 degrees now considers -5 degrees to be mild. My how things have changed!

In addition to our change in perception of what defines cold, Joep and I have begun to notice an upsetting change in our speech. I have lived abroad for over 3 years now and I can proudly say that I have maintained my Australian accent throughout this entire time. This is important to me because (a) I am proud to be Australian and (b) I remember immigrating to Australia as a child and asking the other kids at school to teach me how to speak Australian. Why would I want to throw away all that hard work?

Whilst I am positive that I have managed to hang onto my Aussie accent, over the last few months in Canada I do note one upsetting difference to my speech and that of the Joepinator … eh! Yes, eh. It is a noise that Canadians add to the end of every sentence. They are ridiculed the world over for this (in the most good humoured way imaginable of course!) and it is factual eh. They say eh after everything eh! It is the Dutch equivalent of hoor which has provided hours of entertainment to many of my friends here in Canada and home in Australia, ja hoor!

It appears that Joep & I are no longer in a position to judge eh. Turns out that eh is contagious eh! We use it all the time eh! Ugh. Seriously, we use it all the time. We are now consciously informing each other every time we hear ourselves say it in an attempt to rid ourselves of this speech impediment eh. Lord.

One of the Canadian things that we DON’T mind embracing however is their love of the outdoors … I mentioned this in earlier blogs I know. So upon arrival back in wintry Ottawa we decided to continue with our regime of embracing the outdoors. And what better way to do this than hitting up the Rideau Canal for some ice skating!

The Rideau Canal is 202km long and runs between Kingston and Ottawa. It took 6 years to build back in the 1820’s. In Ottawa it ends at the aptly named Ottawa River right near the Byward Market which is our favourite place to head out for dinner and a few drinks. In winter, the canal freezes solid. The Ottawanegians (as Joep has lovingly named them) take advantage of this by creating the worlds ‘largest, natural ice-skating rink’. It stretches a decent 7.7km’s ending at Dows Lake and the whole way along there are stalls set up selling all kinds of delicious treats and offering spots to rest. Glorious! You can get your exercise and undo all your good work with a beaver tail simultaneously.

Which leads me to another great Canadian pastime – the consumption of Beaver Tails! These are not the tails of the beaver as the name would imply. They are deep fried donuts, covered in sugar or some other delicious-ness. These things are glorious and I firmly believe that they rival (possibly exceed!) the oliebollen in the battle for ‘most delicious deep fried, sugar coated snack’. True story.

SO! On our first weekend back from Australia we embraced the Canadian winter, donned our expedition style winter coats (good to -40 degrees in a t-shirt), got our skates sharpened (Joepinator came through on the Christmas present front this year!) and headed for the canal.

Excitement soon turned to trepidation as I struggled to walk across the short stretch of ice to the nearest bench to put my skates on. Yikes! But we powered through and I am proud to say that I didn’t completely suck at it! In fact, there were people who were way worse than me out there. Alas, Joep was not one of these people. As usual, he outdid me in the coordination stakes and was cutting up the ice whilst skating circles around me. I didn’t mind, I was just happy to be upright!

A few hours, a couple of beaver tails and more than a few near misses on the falling over front and we were headed back to where we started for a well earned rest.

At this point I must point out that many of my near miss falls were the result of the toe picks on the front of my skates. These are there for figure skaters who need to push off the ice to do the odd triple loop and all that jazz …. So obviously something that I would definitely need for my Olympic figure skating debut but not for a leisurely skate down the Rideau. The problem with toe picks is that they catch on every bump in the ice. And the ice on the Rideau is very bumpy. I mean, it is a naturally frozen canal, not a nice smooth rink! So I spent the first hour or so cursing the toe picks as I figured out how NOT to catch them on the ice.

As we were skating back to end our day my confidence had increased and I had picked up enough speed to keep up with the Joepinator. I was so confident, in fact, that I felt the need to announce loudly to him ‘Joepy! I think I have finally gotten the hang of this toe pii … ‘ 

My sentence ended with words that shall not be broadcast on the Internet. Before the word ‘pick’ was even out of my mouth I was rolling around the ice in agony. OK, so little kids were falling over everywhere I looked but I never saw one of them cry. Canadian kids are hardcore because it HURTS! Joepinator came straight over and didn’t even laugh (out loud … his eyes were laughing) whilst trying to help me as I exclaimed that I had really hurt myself whilst doing the ‘mother ship sucking air over teeth and grimacing’ thing (I am seriously becoming my mother … it is mildly amusing to experience having witnessed this phenomenon occur to both Jane & Aoife in recent years). 

I was seriously in agony until some strangers noticed the commotion and came over to ask if we needed help and if I was ok. At this point my pride kicked in and I announced bravely (with tears in my eyes … and a little bit on my cheeks) that I was ok. Joepinator then got me onto my feet and we made our way home. Once I got moving again I was actually fine and had not broken my knee cap in 2 as I was originally sure I had done.

Instead I sit here now with 2 massive black knees caps. Relatively amusing.

Nevertheless we had a ball and plan on hitting the ice whenever possible this winter! What a novelty! And it is only the beginning of the winter sports on offer … watch this space! In the meantime, I have uploaded a couple of video's of the two of us showing our skating prowess. Alas there is no video of my fall - I am sure that would have been very entertaining but for now you you just have to settle for seeing us at our best! 

  

Christmas Down Under!

As you all know, last year Joep and I had the worst Christmas of our lives. This year we were not going to let anything get in our way! After settling into Canadian life, the next this on our ‘To Do’ list was to book flights to Australia for Christmas!

This proved easier said than done because Australian’s live all over the world. And they almost all go home for Christmas. So flights were hard to find and we had left it very late to book them! Yikes! Thankfully after much searching and patience we managed to find a semi affordable flight that saw us arriving in Perth on Christmas Eve … flying via Europe but what can you do hey?

So a few days before Christmas we began our monster commute from Ottawa-Toronto-Frankfurt-Singapore-Perth. Ouch. I’m not gonna lie to you … the flight itself was rough. All flights were booked solid so we were cramped in like sardines for over 30 hours of airtime plus transit time. Still it was more than worth it when we touched down in sunny Perth for some quality time with the Delany clan.

Christmas Eve was a whirlwind of hello’s and hugs and kisses and even though our bodies thought it was 1am when we arrived, the sunny Perth afternoon made dealing with the jetlag very easy and we managed to enjoy a lovely dinner and more than a few drinks to bring in Christmas Day. Christmas Day saw us up early for the usual Delany family champagne breakfast. And so a day of eating began.

After enjoying a long relaxed breakfast and sharing our gifts we all headed across to the Cooksley homestead for the real Christmas festivities. Yeesh, You have never seen more food. Aoife & Stef outdid themselves!! Upon arrival we all had a few drinks and the usual lame jokes were made prior to gift sharing time for the kids. Holy moly it is stressful buying gifts for kids’ coz you know that if you haven’t done well it will be made very clear to you. Thankfully the gifts were received without a glitch and everyone was happy. Let the eating continue. A long Christmas lunch followed coupled with cocktails prepared by Stef. The mother ship and daddyo Dave took a time out midday to catch some zzzzz’s ensuring their ability to continue with the Christmas frenzy well into the evening. Awww the old people can’t keep up J The day continued well into the evening and all had a good time! Best Christmas ever!

The following few days were spent recovering from the over-eating at Christmas by the pool and the parental’s house with a few additional bbq’s thrown in with the extended family. Joepinator hit the golf courses of Perth with daddyo Dave and the in-laws and I had some QT with the ladies. Perfect!

Joep’s birthday rolled around and we had planned to celebrate this with an afternoon drinking session in the Perth sunshine. Perth did not let us down and gave us a scorcher of a day which we relished at The Garden in Leederville. Joepinator was content with his coronas and thankfully some of the boys rocked up so he wasn’t overrun with Australian females … although, he would probably have liked that anyway!

After a day of drinking we headed out for dinner and more drinks at a BYO restaurant … a concept which the Joepinator loves! The day was deemed a success by the birthday boy and the hangovers that followed were a tribute to the celebrations!

The following day was spent at the Cooksley’s house where Joep & Stef did manly construction related things whilst Aoife and I enjoyed the company of the kids followed by a lovely dinner. Poor daddyo Dave was in the hospital having just finished surgery and the mother ship was in need of a lift home so Joepinator and I left the Cooksley's to pick up the mother ship. The problem was that we didn’t have the car with us, only the ute. Which has no backseat. Only a front seat which can fit 3 people at a squeeze. Joep, Aoife & I tested out the possibility of fitting 3 people into the front of the ute prior to leaving for the hospital and decided it was feasible. Daddyo Dave was holding up well and being entertained by the antics of the mother ship when we arrived. We hung out for a bit to keep him company and enjoy the mother ships repertoire before leaving him to rest up for the night. The look on the mother ships face when she saw her mode of transport for the evening was priceless. She did that air sucking over teeth thing that she does when she is either in pain or afraid of something. But after a bit of coaxing from Joep she agreed to climb aboard. Needless to say, we laughed a lot on the way home.

New Years Eve rolled around and, given that poor daddyo was still in hospital, we kept it pretty low key with a very nice bbq at Sheenz new place. The evening consisted of a few drinks, some very good food and entertainment provided by Niamh & Mairghread (guest performer Kynan who ‘ruined the whole show’ as he tumbled across their make shift stage mid performance … hilarious). It was a good thing that we kept it so low key because the following day Joep and I flew to Sydney!

Sydney is one of my favorite cities. It has everything. A great cityscape, a great beachfront PLUS the Harbour Bridge and Opera House. Our first 2 nights in Sydney were in Darling Harbour. A great city location close to everything! Friday night was spent wandering down to The Rocks to check out the views of the bridge and the Opera House and soak up the atmosphere at some of the bars in the neighborhood. On Saturday we slept in until Priscilla texted to arrange meeting up. Now Priscilla is one of my oldest friends. She was one of my first friends when we came to Australia so we have known each other for a lifetime. She has known me through some very awkward, average looking years … we hadn’t seen each other for years because she moved to Melbourne shortly after I came home from Portugal and of course now I don’t live in Australia HOWEVER like all great friendships, absolutely nothing has changed. We agreed to meet up for a couple of drinks at the RSL in Bondi. Within minutes of seeing each other we reverted back to our 7-year-old selves and chattered away nonstop leaving the boys to fend for themselves. Thankfully, Dave & Joep also hit it off so things were looking up! The day progressed and many rounds were purchased. Things got rowdier and rowdier as the day wore on. Drinks turned into late lunch, which then rolled into early evening drinks. Just as things were getting out of hand Joep’s cousin Marloes arrived with her travel buddy Matt. They were visiting Sydney at the same time and we had arranged a catch up J So Priscilla and I were forced to go our separate ways for the evening as Joep & I headed out for dinner with Marloes and Matt … we did of course, make a plan to meet up again the following day so there was no need for tear-filled goodbyes. Phew!

We then headed to Una’s with Matt & Marloes for a massive schnitzel dinner & a few more drinks and chats. It is all a bit of a blur now … I have a vague memory of Joep “whispering” in my ear ‘I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS JENNI!’ And I know for a fact that we chatted a lot so I believe it was a very successful evening.

Sunday morning was less successful but we managed to hit the shops in Sydney to spend the gift vouchers that Santa Claus left for us. After a brief but successful shopping spree we headed to Woolloomooloo Wharf to meet up with Pris & Dave for one last hoorah before Pris had to head back to Melbourne for work on Monday. We met at Kingsley’s Steak house that serves amazing food right on the wharf. Don’t let the name ‘steakhouse’ fool you. This place is as deliciously up market as it gets. Pris has great taste! The lunch started out very civilized. Meals were ordered and interesting discussions were held. As the lunch wore on and additional bottles of wine were ordered the conversations got even more interesting. 

After a lovely long lunch we decided to roll through the afternoon and headed to the Opera Bar at the harbor for some more festivities. The weather had let us down but this did not hinder our enjoyment of the day. At some stage of the afternoon things got out of hand. We were sitting outside ignoring the light misty rain falling on us when a table under an umbrella came free. Dave was the first to notice this. He moved with lightening speed and the grace of a ballerina to grab the table right from under the nose of an unsuspecting tourist. Joep following him with slightly less speed and a lot less grace. As Dave sat down at the table he turned to us with jazz hands out and exclaimed ‘Shazzaaaaaam!’ Joep dropped his beer bottle in all the excitement. Far too much attention was drawn to us. Dave & Joep loved it. Pris & I didn’t mind it too much.

The remainder of the afternoon was enjoyed under cover with great company!! The company was so good in fact that Pris missed her flight to Melbourne … perfect! An excuse to continue on. We then headed to Bondi (where Joep & I were staying for the remaining days in Sydney) where we dined on spare ribs and red wine at a restaurant that is so good they provide you with bibs to wear while eating because they know how excited you’ll be to be eating. They were right. It was fantastic!

And so it ended – The best reunion I think I have ever had! Pris & I were separated in the early hours of Monday morning. I have separation anxiety to this day. Boo.

However! The following days on Bondi certainly helped me to cheer up a bit! Bondi Beach is a great spot. Restaurants, bars, take out places, not to mention a fantastic beach to enjoy! Joep and I spent the next few days chilling out on the beach and wandering the streets of Bondi. It was glorious! We even did the walk from Bondi Beach to Bronte. The coastline is amazing!! Australia … you never let me down. Our last night in Bondi saw us catching up with Hannah & Mark – You may remember them from previous stories such as ‘We crashed our motorcycle in Cambodia’ and ‘Our friends had an accident in Thailand’ … It was so strange yet so great to see the 2 of them again. We only knew each other for 24 hours however they certainly saw Joep & I at our worst during this time. We compared ‘Thai hospital’ stories and laughed about some of the crazy things we’ve been through as well as trading travel stories over a few drinks. It was a surreal experience. I am trying to explain why but it’s not working so I will stop there.

The following morning Joep & I headed back to Perth for the last few days with the Delany clan. We also visited Caversham where Joep lived his ‘dream’ of petting a koala and feeding kangaroos. He loved it! He was also very pleased and excited to see his first Tasmanian devil and a wombat! The latter is now a favorite of his. He was so impressed with the wombat. Who can blame him? They are adorable! In addition to all this excitement … yes, there’s more … Joep milked a cow! The excitement! He says that the teat felt funny. He still can’t say this with giggling like a schoolgirl.

On top of all this excitement, Joepinator managed to squeeze in another round of golf with the boys and I enjoyed a girl’s night with the sisters and mother ship. Random story: We used to have girls dinners once a month when I lived in Perth and they usually involve dinner and a chick flick at the movies. These evenings give us a chance to catch up and laugh about the antics of our respective better halves. It is always fantastic!! And it nearly always gets a bit out of hand. This evening was no exception. After dinner and many stories that had us all in knots of laughter we headed up to the movie theatre. Outside our movie theatre was a cardboard cutout for the movie ‘Wild Things’ and it had one of those holes where you can put your head so it looks like you are the monster. You know? So I put my head in to have my photo taken being ‘wild’. Then Sheenz had her turn to do it. Aoife was next in line and by this stage it was becoming quite entertaining to see the various facial interpretations of ‘wild’. Jane was the sweetest wild thing out of all of us. The Mother Ship. Well. She put her head into the hole and was muttering something as we all told her to ‘Be wild mum! Be wild!’ During a lull in our exclamations I realized what mum was saying … ‘B1tches! B1tches!’ Yes. She was muttering that. I exclaimed ‘Mum! Are you saying b1tches!’ To which she reacted by doubling over in laughter / surprise. After some time she calmed herself down long enough to explain that it was the only way she could think of to be ‘wild’. Right.

Other than these catch ups that days were spent lolling by the pool at the parental's house and having QT with all the sisters, brothers-in-law, nieces, nephew and parents. It was wonderful!

On our last night in Perth we were treated to a feast at the Goddard ranch. The kids ate their meal in their new tree house, which has its own deck and fully equipped kitchen. Jeepers. I could move in tomorrow! The evening was fantastic and I’ll be honest with you, it was pretty hard to leave this time!

But leave we did – Early Sunday morning we flew back to Canada via Frankfurt and now here were are in the freezing cold again. BUT the bright side is that the canal is open this weekend so I will be able to try out the ice skates I got for Christmas! Wonderful!!

Thanks for a great trip home Delany people! We miss you already and we are already saving for the next trip!!