The Aftermath of Living Below the Line

So the living below the line challenge was just that … a challenge! You can imagine the joy I felt the following week when I was able to get back to eating normally.

On Monday evening, after getting the overnight flight from LA to Ottawa, landing at 8am and going straight to work, I stopped at the grocery store on my way home to get ingredients to make a delicious chicken, cherry pie. It is one of my favourite things to eat. Ever.

The ingredients for this pie cost more than double the amount of money I had spent on food for an entire week the week before so I felt very indulgent!! I was home making the pie and was getting VERY excited to pig out when I added the last ingredient to the pan. Cream. I had just bought it. The expiration date was 3 weeks away. Yet when I poured it into the pan, it was a funny grey colour and smelled like a decomposing body (I can only imagine, I have never actually smelled a decomposing body before but I’m pretty sure this is what it would smell like).
I was LIVID.

Naturally my first reaction was to call Joep who just loves getting those calls from me. An irrational fiancé on the phone yelling about gone off cream and starvation. He calmly encouraged me to return the cream and get a refund. It was a good suggestion. So off I marched to the grocery store across the street to get a refund. I took the cream with me and explained my predicament. The checkout boy sympathized and offered me a refund for the cream. I didn’t want a refund for the just cream though! I had just spend $20 on groceries, all of which were ruined! I wanted everything refunded! He was confused. And uncertain. So he called his manager. She then informed me that in order to give me a refund they would need to see the remainder of the ingredients. I was incredulous. Really? You really want to see the chicken and cherries that are all stinky in my pan at home? Yes. She did. And she was sorry for the inconvenience.

By this point I was relatively manic and announced loudly that I would DEFINITELY be able to show her the remainder of the ingredients and that I would go and get them immediately. I don’t think they believed me. How wrong they were.

I marched home, poured the stinking, grey, gloopy mess into a glass bowl and marched angrily back to the grocery store. The checkout boy laughed nervously when he saw me stomping back into the store with my glass bowl in my hand. He then immediately called the manager who came down and took one look at the grey gloop in my bowl before agreeing 110% that I needed a full refund. However I was not satisfied with her just looking at the gloop. I proceeded to manically ask her ‘Do you want to SMELL it?! Hey?! Hey?! Do you want to SMELL IT?!’ To which she politely responded ‘No thank you’ but it was to no avail. I already had the lid off the container and had begun waving the bowl under her nose. It really stank. And it was slopping over the sides of the bowl onto the counter. The manager was literally covering her face with her arms whilst dry reaching and choking out the words ‘Ma’am, ma’am, I said no thank you. No thank you I don’t need to smell it!’

I very quickly regained my composure and realized that perhaps waving the bowl under the managers nose was not entirely necessary. Still I felt I had made my point. I then went happily around the store repurchasing all my groceries whilst nursing my bowl of grey goop. And in the defense of the grocery store, they gave me a full refund of my previous shopping bill and I got my new groceries for free to make up ‘for my troubles’ as the manager said. Hahahaha yes, I clearly had some ‘troubles’. Yikes.

As I walked home I called Joep in hysterics laughing and told him the story which made him proud (this is true love). He was even prouder the following week when we were in the same store and, while checking out, the manager approached me quite timidly and asked ‘Excuse me Miss, I was just wondering how your second pie turned out?’ I’m not going to lie to you. I felt some shame when this happened. But I politely informed her that the 2nd pie was lovely and that I now think that I had perhaps overreacted the previous week. She kindly informed me that she totally understood my annoyance because my entire meal was ruined to which I responded – ‘Yes, but I am not really sure that it was necessary to wave the stinky bowl under your nose **cringe**’ We agreed on that point. Shared a friendly chuckle and I went on my way.
Canadian’s are the best, most polite people in the world. This is a true story.